My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
