I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
