whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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