I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
