tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
