My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
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did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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