clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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