weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I've blown a few things in my day
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
