There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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