You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
