I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
