Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
