My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
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