It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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