he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
