Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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