with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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