If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I want you more than these girls want KFC
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
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