if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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