3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
