careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
