it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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