Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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