Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
