Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
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Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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