YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
