I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
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