Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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