I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
