Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
