You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize