There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
