Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
