He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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