So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
