I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
