I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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