I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
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U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My dad is sitting where you rode me
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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