shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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