You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Who wears a wallet chain?!
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize