i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
