You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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