There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
