were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
