rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
