I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
