It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
