Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
