question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Randomize
