It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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