I am full of burrito and curiosity
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
