then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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