I love black thongs
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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