he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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