HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
They are going to name an STD after you.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
