We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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