Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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