Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
