I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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