Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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