i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
